I have already shared some of our goals for 2009. One of them was paying off bills, which seems to be a common one for many adults – I am not sure if I would consider myself an adult yet, but I am of that age. Rick and I have spent hours talking about what we want in life. Several of our conversations – during which I re-realize that I am lucky to have someone so likeminded as myself – have led us to thoughts about this silly race to have things.
America, it seems is very much about what you have and do, not who you are. I found it frustrating as a teen because I never seemed to reach the ideal. I feel it now, having tried on our own to have what we thought we wanted. In the end, after a few years of leaving our roots behind, we have found that it is not worth the sacrifice one must make to work too much in order to have those fabulous shoes or the latest HD channels to watch on our HD TV.
We were not completely superficial. We dif try to be good people. But in looking for what would make us happy – I think we let the superficial world in too much – we found that it is each other, not a great TV that makes life full.
I felt a little lost over the last couple of years. I slaved over books to finish school, then slaved over bodies at two jobs, self-employment and working for a company, waiting to feel fulfilled. It never happened. I feel like I have been pretending since graduating, afraid that my business would not succeed; I pretended to be what I thought someone else would like. I did not think that most people, especially in the area of my business, would like or tolerate who I am.
I do not regret the adventures we have had in Snohomish County. I came from a small town, a small family – very “crunchy” and frugal – and wanted to experience a different life. Now that I have, I’m done. I want a small town again. I want to work a little, but I don’t want it to define me. I want to work so that I can play, so that Rick and I can spend as much time together as possible.
Faced with possibly more serious health problems led us to realized that we are what matters. Being together is the priority, not having stuff. So this year we will strive to get back to our roots.
On the agenda is paying off those bills. Once paid off, it will free a large amount of money. (You may think that we have a large amount now, we don’t. Rick was laid off remember. But it will relieve pressure.) We may even be able to save a little.
Also this year will be more of a purging year. We have realized, moving into a smaller place, where we could take only what we needed, we do not want or need most of our stuff. Our needs are a lot less than we thought. They are clothing, food of course, a computer for each, my books and art supplies and a couple more electronics for Rick, and camping stuff. I’m not ever sure what all that other stuff is.
So we will be downsizing a lot this year. I want to be able to pick up and go anywhere in the world, not worrying about storing things back “home”. I’ve felt tied down and muddled with all our clutter. That will change.
Yes, I mentioned that I want to be able to leave for anywhere. That does not mean that we are going to do that this year. I want to live in Skagit Valley for a little while. The plan seems to be to get a little bitty house in the valley and be there for a couple of years. But after that, we both would like to live somewhere else. San Francisco is appealing to both of us. Spain and Italy or Greece appeals to me. I do not want to settle there and raise babies – at the moment – but I want to experience living there, perhaps for a year or so. Life is meant to be lived, experienced not let to go by without affecting your existence.
So along with paying and purging there are a couple other things. First is to try to find something that will allow us to leave and go anywhere. Does that mean my blog? I have no idea. It is for fun now, but if it allowed me to travel that would be awesome! It could also mean that I turn my love of crocheting into something more productive. I am a lot better and not worried about failing. I want to learn to knit as well so I can make fun cute things when we decide to have kids and so I can make something else a person may wish to buy.
A huge desire is to be self-suffient. Due impart to a problem with authority and the arrogance that I can do it better, I don’t want to work for someone. I may have to but that is not my goal for my whole life. Though massage is great, it will not allow me to travel, as I want. You have to stick to one place to build a clientele. It is also very discouraging to tell someone that their insurance will not cover massage even though they need it.
So what will allow us to be self-sufficient? I have no idea, but am willing to try different things.
Another consideration is something I didn’t think would happen for many years. I was bitten hard by the “baby bug”. I don’t want to go out and have one now, but I am 99% sure that I want kids and that I want to birth them myself. Crazy. Just because I am not in a hurry, does not mean that I am going to leave all the research I consider essential to the 9 months of growing a babe. This desire has further supported my desire to get back to my roots and pay off bills and be self-sufficient. To me it is very important to live the way I want to raise children for a little while before having those children. That means living as natural and mainstream free as we can. Let’s become more crunchy.
Listing off these goals does not mean that I am doing a 180. We have already turned in the direction that we wanted. We already live crunchy, eating naturally, unprocessed foods, recycling or upcycling, donating what we don’t need or want. But we have a long way to go. Besides if it was easy or fast, it would be boring.
