Debt is something I’ve been thinking about for a very long time. In early ’09 I was busy paying off debt we incurred after Rick got laid off and we had to buy out our lease, and forgo paying for a couple of other bills for at least a month, and the medical bills that had surprised us months after the E.R. visit. I don’t know why those bills still surprise me. I know they are coming, it’s just unnerving to read $756 or whatever, on an official hospital statement. (Note: at the time of the E.R. visit, we had health insurance, we had not met our deductible, hence the bill.)
Since then I’ve had this goal in the back of my mind: to pay off our debt, in a sort of timely manner, so we don’t have to feel like everything is so tight. So maybe we can get ahead, and actually own our stuff, whatever stuff we decide to keep. So we can feel free.
I have no idea what a timely manner is. I’m not sure how long it’s going to take to pay off the student and private loans we have. I do have an end date for my car, but it seems so far off. It’s just overwhelming, and very depressing when it’s challenging to figure out how much money we have for food and fun, also, how much money we are going to need for taxes and school next year. Taxes are something one has to save for when one is self employed. Quite frankly, some days I’m just tired of feeling like I’m a hamster running nowhere on my wheel.
I have goals that require me to have less debt and more money saved. The biggest goal at the moment is a home, a house, a roof that we own, windows that are mine, and a yard in which to compost, grow insane amounts of herbs and veggies, let Xiann run around like a crazy dog. Yes, it’s official. I am okay with the idea of buying a house. I feel at home enough in Bellingham to stay awhile, probably a long time. Yet that goal I’ve now set for myself feels like it won’t happen for a very, very long time.
It’s my impatience that’s talking. It’s my feelings of what aren’t quite regret. I don’t think one should regret that which teaches you a lesson. But it doesn’t feel good a lot of the time. I have to remind myself that it’s a process that can’t, or shouldn’t happen over night. It could be considered a right of passage. Changing from a participant of the rat race, to a sustainable/organic/recycled/reused thinking, independent person – with way less debt and a life of which I can be proud.
I ran across this blog: Tiny r(E)volution. The writer and his wife have made it a goal to build their own tiny, recycled/reused/movable/environmentally-friendly/way-less-expensive home.
There were two posts specifically that spoke to me. Both are about debt and the American rat race, and how crazy it has become. Check them out for some inspiration and encouragement.
The Modern Hippy
One Response to "Debt – Modern Day Slavery"
Pings responses to this post
[...] money and time. Cedar Mountain Herb School offers internships for all seasons. But as my post about debt should have lead you to believe, I don’t have a lot of money, and this year I have no extra [...]