I am so tired. My head hurts and my eyes are scratchy. I’ve cried and cursed. Now I think I’ll just type. It is pretty much decided that we’ll move north in the next year or so. It is also decided that when moving I’ll be closing down my practice here. That means that I will have to rebuild it up north. That idea is incredibly overwhelming. Makes me want to cry again.
Since we aren’t staying around here for long I’m not sure I want to put a huge effort into further building what I have here. What’s the point? Other than making and saving money for the move and a house? If I say that out loud too much I’ll start quitting now. I can’t do that.
Along with this is a “closing door”, the chiropractor with whom I work is going to eventually take over the massage part, my part. Now to be fair, Rick and I decided to move before he brought it up, we have been thinking about it for a long time and what that would mean for my business. It’s understandable that he would want to control that area of the office. He will make more money in the end if he does. All he gets from me is rent each month, a set amount and no more. He should want to make more. But I, I’m not sure, I just feel let down.
As a massage therapist, I depend on chiropractors and M.D.s or N.D’s to give me referrals for PIP, L&I and most insurance massages. What if, when we moved, two years after I’ve set up another chiropractor decides to do that again? I hate depending on people, so-called higher up. I want to be solely responsible for things. I hate it that I am considered an inferior practitioner by docs and insurances.
I must figure out how to make my treatments individual so that I don’t have to depend on anyone other than me and Rick and our ability to market. I have continuing education to take. I have parts of my education I have yet to use regularly. I am so frustrated! I feel so out of control!
