For the last few months I’ve been reading what my library calls “consumer education” books, such as The Omnivore’s Dilema and Fast Food Nation. It all started when I decided to educate myself more on the US food system,and “environmental toxins”. The whole thing started with The Compassionate Carnivore by Catherine Friend.

     I make jokes about how I’m on a depressing book reading binge. Honestly, it’s true. I’m addicted to learning new terrible things. The books I’ve read recently are: Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser, The Omnivore’s Dilema by Micheal Pollan, The Compassionate Carnivore by Catherine Friend, Drop Dead Gorgeous by Kim Erickson, and now The Hundred Year Lie by Randall Fitzgerald.

      I’ve learned that diseased cows were slaughtered and sold to us. The pesticides sprayed on our foods aren’t just of the surface of the skin, but also in the parts we eat. Cheap food is subsidized by the government, so the actual cost is not what we pay. Once calves are old enough to wean they are shipped to feed lots and fed corn, which they aren’t built to digest. Their diet of corn has caused health problems with the cows and has created a crazy, often deadly e. coli bug. I’m learning that there really is little comprehensive testing of drugs before they are released to the unsuspecting public. And once they are released they are only taken off the market once people get really sick or die. And enough people have to do that before they even think about reacting to “protect” the public. Also, our water systems can’t filter out the chemicals that get flushed down the toilet in one way or another. So the rest of us, whom don’t want to or don’t have to use these meds are ingesting small amounts every time we go to the sink for more water.

     I’ve already made the decision that some time this year, once we have enough money and once I decide which water filtration system is best for the price, that we will become filtered-water-drinking people. I’ve also decided most fruits and veggies we eat will be organic. I buy wild fish, organic humanely raised beef as I can afford. We almost never take pills to ease a cold. All of our old meds – such as expired tylenol – are waiting for me to find the time to take them to a proper disposal place, because as I said, flushing them will only pollute our water.

     I have arguments with myself over what is best for our dog and cat to eat. Should I go completely raw? What is the appropriate amount of protein, carbs and fats for them? Is is a good idea to supplement their diets with a little canned food or dry food as long as it doesn’t contain artificial ingredients? How many vaccinations do they really need? Or do they need them?

     I was reading something a few days ago that mentioned drinking warm lemon water in the morning and before bed will help the colon to expel mucus. Gross sounding I know. However, the colon is incredibly important to health. Dirty colon, dirty body. So I bought a couple of lemons and gave it a try. A few couple of days into this lemon experiment, while I was drinking my lemon ginger tea, I realized that while citrus fruits aren’t among the Top 10 fruits and veggies to eat organically, I was placing the whole lemon slice in the hot water. So what was on the peal was going into my tea, thus into my system. Shoot. Now I’d have to buy organic lemons.

     After realizing my lemons needed to be organic I was feeling discouraged. I’m trying so hard to be healthier and mindful about what is healthy for the environment, but there is always something more. When those negative thoughts sneak in I try to remember this: just reading, learning and trying different things out is a big step forward. So many people don’t try. They don’t care, or believe that what they are ingesting is a “safe” amount. Safe as said by companies that sell them, or by the FDA, USDA, EPA, or CDC, or whatever other three or four letter organization. The thing is, if you dig a little, you will find people within these organizations, doctors, scientists – are thinking more along the realistic big picture. Perhaps it is safe to ingest that tiny amount of whatever synthetic ingredient found in your convenience meal. However, if you eat mostly processed “convenience meals” and less unprocessed whole foods (fruits and veggies etc.) those tiny “safe” amounts accumulate. Is the bigger amount still safe? Probably not. They didn’t test for that. Oh and by the way those chemicals that are supposed to be safe are not getting processed out of your body as fast as they should be, or at all.

     What is a hippy girl to do? Not give up! Keep reading, keep changing, keep pushing forward to find more. I’ll finish using those non-organic lemons. Next time though, I’ll buy organic. Remember the victories. I now buy only organic potatoes, apples, and carrots (among other things). I feel better than ever before. I don’t feel guilty about flushing old meds because I’ve changed. I won’t do that. A cleaner, healthier self is a work in progress, not an over night miracle. So when you start to obsess, or freak out, remember you aren’t alone, and something is better than nothing.