It’s that time of the month again. Guys beware this is an extra femmy post. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t read further, but do so if you actually want to learn something, not judge.

     Certain actions of the female body are far from pleasant. There are a million things out there to “help” us deal with our “Curse”. Midol, Ibuprofen, chocolate and soft pjs, not all are bad, but some should be questioned; the pills we take. I’m not going to tell you that you should never take anything, because if you are doubled over and crying from pain, do something to fix it. However, I wouldn’t suggest that you rely on ibuprofen alone to remedy your cramps. But after you have taken a couple of pills why not look for an alternative. An acupuncturist I know mentioned that in our western culture, women receive little to no guidance or support in our trips through the different paths of feminine life. In some other cultures it is explained and in some cases celebrated when a girl goes through yet another phase of life whether it’s her first period or her last, she is taught about it. It isn’t a “curse” there.
     If only it was like that here. But if we want information here, we have to search high and low and talk with a million or more people whom may or may not understand. Now, to be fair I didn’t hit puberty without instruction. My mom explained between blushes what happens. She did a good job being tactful and not scaring me. But there were still the emotions she and I felt. Why it what makes us women is is so embarrassing? Part of it I think is based in religion. I’m not going to lecture about religion. However, I will say that back in the day women were considered “unclean” while menstruating. They even had a separate tent they stayed in during this time. (On a side note, a client told me about a book “The Red Tent” that was about that time and that tent and how it wasn’t such a horrible thing and that women looked forward to their week vacation from life each month. I want to read it!) Depending on the religion women are sometimes regarded as lesser or even evil beings. Super lame.

     In this day and age women have been liberated pretty well. There are women CEOs and judges and police officers. No woman president yet, but I think when the right one comes along she’ll do well in that office also. But there is a side of women that is still regarded as annoying or inconveniencing. Our periods.

     I admit, I hate my period. I don’t feel well leading up to it. I don’t like feeling like my uterus is trying to jump out of my body. I don’t like worrying about having a heavy one while I’m working. But I wish it was different. The same acupuncturist expressed that she never felt the way I did about her period. It was just there, she was fine and patient took it in stride. This got me thinking, why shouldn’t I do the same. Why do I have to be perfect and period-less all the time? What if I regard this week or so as a respite and just go with the flow? (Pun accidental but works)

     Four months ago, after having run out of my birth control pills from the last refill I quit taking them. Partly because without insurance I was going to have to pay $60 a month that I didn’t have and partly because of what was going on with Rick’s health. He was very sick. I felt the need to cleanse my body of all unneeded things. I quit taking those, Excedrin (unless I was “dying”) and started to be proactive. There was no desire to get pregnant. There are ways to avoid it without the pill.
     In the first couple of weeks I felt so much better. My headaches decreased a ton. I was warm for the first time in years. And in the femmy area, I felt awake, like things were flowing and moving properly for the first time ever. No longer was I clenching my teeth to keep from screaming at the husband for not taking out the garbage. PMSing meant only that I was a little tired and cramped a little.
     There were some annoying things that happened. I sweat like a pig for about 2.5-3 months and didn’t smell pretty. I tried several types of deodorants, none of which worked well a few days before and after my period. My skin started to produce a ton of oil and my hair was filthy at the end of the day.
     But going into the fourth month I feel settled. I know that a lot of that had to do with my hormones regulating themselves. It can take up to 3 months for your body to re-regulate your body after ceasing the pills. Though, I will admit this month is not the best example, I’m under a lot of stress trying to find an apartment, job, find Rick a job and bills of course. But in general, I’m warm rather than cold. I have headaches only when my neck goes out and that isn’t hormone related. I don’t get headaches with weather pressure changes – still feel them in my body, but not in the same way. Though my skin is oilier, it’s healthier looking. Yes it’s well “lubed” before and during my period, and I break out but it heals well and the blemishes aren’t the same deep, festering bastard zits. They are friendly little zits now. I have actually lost a little bit of weight as well. Have about ten pounds to go until I’m back to my 19 year old weight! I still get grumpy but it isn’t a long or horrible as before. I’m tired but it isn’t unbearable. Sex drive is back. And as far as Aunt Flow is concerned it’s way different, but okay. Some cramps, but if I keep warm and relax it’s okay. Flow is heavier but not unhealthy. It feels more complete with a definite beginning and ending. Bloating I could live without, but I’m not going to take a pill for it.
     Something I learned from the acupuncturist is that a woman’s period shouldn’t be the way they are now with all the cramping and screaming and crying. Acupuncture can help to even one out, treating the imbalances that arise. And I’m happy to say that it works. Due to not having enough time in the day right now I haven’t been able to continue with my treatments, but I will again when things settle down. So the little bit of cramping and uncomfortable things should eventually decrease. I know I don’t have to settle for them or be forced to take a pill or get a shot.

     Now for the bit about the negative attitude everyone has toward menstruating. Almost everyone views it negatively. Parents dread the weeks their daughters are pmsing because they can act crazy. Working women dislike it because it can hamper how they deal with challenges on the job. Will they be too tired? Will they overreact to something difficult? Will their coworkers respect them less for acting differently? Will their job be in jeopardy? At home husbands or wives can dread it because of impending grumpiness or no sex. Kids notice it when mommy cries over burnt toast or stained t-shirts. Something always goes wrong and we stress ourselves out over stupid details and unpreventable biology. This is completely illogical! We know it’s dumb to get mad at a person hard of hearing if they don’t hear what you said when you were in another room. Why doesn’t this common sense transfer to women’s periods?

     Here’s an idea. We all have them unless we have parts removed or shots are given. Why don’t we take it easy and relax for a week a month? I know that things go wrong and seem impossible to complete. How about if we plan dinners and activities that are easy before we are on the wave? Why not ask for help around the house? Why not say “No, I’m sorry, I can’t do that this week,” when someone asks you to commit to yet another after-school activity. Do some squared breathing if your boss gives you a huge responsibility. Go to bed early and require other people to be responsible as well. And maybe it isn’t a good idea to go camping if you know it’s going to be cold and you will be cramping. Drink several cups of hot herbal tea. Get acupuncture. Go see a naturopathic doctor and ask for natural remedies to help. Wear a scarf. Buy or make a rice pack. It’s easy and all you need is access to a microwave. When having a cramp take slow deep breathes, don’t hold your breath or breathe quickly. Lamaze type breathing is a horrible idea; it activates your sympathetic nervous system which will make you more stressed. Take a day off. Sleep with another blanket. Make some gluten-free brownies. Tell your kids “No, no friends over tonight” or “Make your self some dinner tonight. Mommy needs a night off.” Read a book. Cuddle with your lover or child or pet. Try not to give into negative self thoughts. Remember, it’s okay to be human. Humans, whether man or woman, are not perfect, but always improving, evolving beings. Life would be boring if it was perfect.